Uncertainty

Letting go for good, as you did with me

Long before I understood.

And selfishly, you took as much as you could,

In the meantime.

I leaned in.

To be uncertain is one thing,

But to say you love with no intention

Of loving, should be a crime.

It’s been about a year now,

Of living in a fog that never seems to clear.

One thing however has been clear;

All this love you claim for me is really only fear.

Of loving me. Of losing me. Of letting me go.

These waters are thick and murky,

And growing impatiently cold.

I am disfigured besides the watching shadows,

Who is that I see hidden behind the fog?

The man who claimed to love me;

No, it couldn’t be.

You’re unintentional intentionality of it all,

One of your ever present flaws.

Intentional or not, you pressed on and convinced me to chase,

A hand that was never meant to be mine.

But then asked to hold me,

Just one last time, I always say yes.

I was unintentionally intentionally giving you my best.

Yet here we are; Back where we started.

Somehow holding less.

However, I’ve locked my doors.

I will no longer be fooled into chasing shadows anymore.

Shape shifting and switching scripts,

When the fog finally begins to lift.